Struggles

what a day, I have been looking forward to today for weeks, family pictures. I have pined over what to have the kids wear, they are to old for MATCHING outfits, so I have been told, and since I have lost weight finding something I own that looks nice and matches the kids is a whole nother story.

So I have had this want since...well since Nate and I have gotten together ...I want him to wear his uniform, dress or not I don't care, in a family picture. We have so much time with him in Uniform it would be nice to have a picture that depicts that as well. SO ANYWAY as of last night Nate was in on this, he would wear his ACU's and the rest of the family would wear their dress clothes that we have from an event that never happened. I was so excited, with nates help I picked hat I was going to wear for our more laid back pictures and life was good.

we got up this morning and life was good as normal, we slept in woke up to snuggles a great way to start the day... Until the lovely affects of PTSD rear their ugly head... anger, for an unknown reason... just their hoovering in the air, waiting to greet the family or situation. This time it was pictures... he decided he wasn't going to be in the pictures... then as the time got closer he came in but decided he wasn't wearign his uniform.... whatever, I am disapointed but not suprised it is how things like this go, I want want want get excited then loose it...but its life right... well to my suprise... my husband WON

TODAY my husband beat PTSD.. he wore his uniform and was in our family pictures. There are parts of the pictures that he would not partake in, but its life the anger may have shown its head but we won!!!!

We got our pictures, I saw my husband smile.. enjoy his time with our family.. was it perfect? NOPE but was it great? absolutly. I feel like every day is a new battle with the issues he is workig through.

I have to admit I have done ZERO research on PTSD which is not like me at all, I tend to be the over researcher, scare myself and be prepared for anything but not this time. I have not been in denial or even suprised... just living life each day..praying for a good one...

medication makes our life liveable and even wonderful at times, the problem is getting someone to regulary take something that they know they need but when they are down.. they are so angry and upset they don't think a PILL will help it..